A modern gamer?

I couldn’t think of any suitable title for this entry, maybe it’ll hit me half way through writing it or maybe five months later it will come as an unrelated thought I won’t be able to stick to any thought I’ll be having at that moment. It doesn’t matter.
I suppose I am not a typical modern gamer and I think perhaps I do not want to be it anyway but the way gaming has evolved had created a bit of social void in my life as several years ago I was happily bumming along other guys, (some of them in similar situations like me), on variety of racing gaming. We had our website, our weekly league racing and most of nights we’d spend together, gaming, moaning about work, wives, kids and so on and with my fairly small need for socialising that was at times a bit too much but it was my social life, at home in front of the TV screen, quite often talking to a little headset. I was content with it and content with my gaming.
Fast forward to now and that is social aspect is missing. The community didn’t stand against the time and whereas I am still in touch with few of the extraordinary guys, it’s not the same. My life took a strange course few years ago and it didn’t mesh well with all of that and well arrival of PS4 also made a bit of mess within those who were trying to keep the place alive and this part had kind of gone.
I think it feels like something special as it was my first experience if organised gaming that made me realise I liked some contact with other humans of male kind.
I could easily join (and to some extent I have) another community, try to get more involved but somehow I had fine back to my wilder times of being an obnoxiously rude without really realising it.
The point I’m trying to make is, that current game developers put really a big effort into this socialising while gaming and it kinda makes me feel put aside coz I just can’t find myself in it anymore. Perhaps I’m getting old and stale.
In 2011, I heard of development of Project Cars. It really grabbed me to the point of me signing on their website and contributing some money towards the game development. I kept on waiting and waiting for its release as our PC just wasn’t able to handle the betas in any kind of acceptable form. And it finally arrived. It was here…
And I was like “wow-meh-wow-bleah”. Amazed at what it felt like, how great it looked, annoyed that some things were not implemented, but it wasn’t as back in 2011 for example that I’d probably play it first time for as long as my hands would let me. No I installed it, played it for a bit, had a bit of reflecting moment and turned it off as I felt I was tired. Hmphmmmm. (I remember taking part in endurance series where races lasted over 2-3 hours straight).
The last few years really took a lot of out of me and definitely due to my health issues I don’t feel as energetic as I used to when thinking of playing new games or late night sessions.
And it all results with Project Cars gathering dust to some extent. I’ll install the patches, do few laps but I just won’t get into it as much as I would coz the human element is gone and even though the AI is really good nowadays, even though I grew up playing against AI coz any form of multiplayer was only available with someone in the same room, passing joystick around, I have been encouraged to think multiplayer is the only way to go.
I think what I am getting at is that I either need to find myself a community of dudes playing the same games as me, or find the early years passion in solitary gaming where it just didn’t matter. And that’s where I think this whole idea of this blog came from. I need my little outlet that hopefully will assist me in meeting some humans that feel like me or at least blob about it so it is not stuck in my head forever.

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